The Opportunity Cost of Stay-At-Home Motherhood in the Philippines
Many studies and articles have been published on the economics of motherhood in other countries. And we can find out from our many Filipino relatives abroad that the cost of child care runs very high in other countries. A ballpark figure for the cost of daycare in the United States would be $20,000-$30,000 annually. The average highly-skilled working mom would then be spending approximately 50% of her annual $40,000-$60,000 salary to pay for her daytime proxy parent. Add to it to the cost of hiring a driver, a cook, a tutor —it starts to make more financial sense to just take on all of these roles with the bonus of intangible benefits such as peace of mind, safety, security, and emotional well-being.
Now let’s take this scenario closer to home. To my home. The outright opportunity cost of leaving my employment for the last 8 years is a little over PhP 20,000,000 (twenty million pesos) in salaries and benefits, even assuming no promotion will happen in that period of time. Even as a junior manager in multi-national company, the compensation I would have received is already at around the 90-95th percentile of the Philippine working force’s average monthly salary distribution. (I am approximating this based on salaryexplorer.com‘s salary charts.) What I used to receive at $48,000 annually in the Philippines is within the range of salaries in the United States. BUT the cost of child care is much lower in the Philippines. In-home child care (2 to 3 nannies) is just $3,600 annually. Even with a driver and a tutor, the total cost would just be around $10,000. And the services rendered are of higher value because the caregivers are mostly on-call 24/7. While the intangible benefits of motherhood remain constant, the opportunity cost in career earnings is higher here in the Philippines. The annual quantifiable “services” I render as a SAHM is worth only $10,000. Which is just 20% of my annual corporate compensation, lesser than 10% if we consider it as a shared expense of a dual-income household. Hence, it’s a common experience among SAHMs for the breadwinners in the household to consider a SAHM’s “work” as easy and sometimes insignificant. It seems a common feeling among SAHMs to feel unappreciated, often receiving condescending peer responses: “nasa bahay ka LANG,” “bata LANG ang aasikasuhin mo,” etc. And the low cost of outsourcing these services in the Philippines bolsters these responses.
But there are a few non-mothers who place a high value at the choice of women to become SAHMs. Looking back in 2005, during one of the lunch break conversations with some male senior managers, it was interesting to note how one manager perceived and valued the mutual decision for his spouse to be a SAHM. He tells me that he strives to make his wife happy, gives her all she needs and wants, lets her manage their money — because it is not an easy decision for an intelligent and talented woman with a college degree to give up the opportunity of earning the same amount money as he earns, climbing ladders of her own, breaking glass ceilings, and public recognition in exchange for the private struggles of raising their children. I remember telling him in response, “I’m on the same corporate career path as you, but I’m also going to be the mother of my future family, like your wife. So, paano na?” We just laughed after this because he replied while scratching his head, “Oo nga ano.”
The Journey Thus Far
As I look back at the last 8 years, I can’t believe it’s been 8 years. In all my years envisioning my future during my youth, I have never considered being a Stay-At-Home Mom. But whenever I look at my children, I see the independence, leadership, openness, security, humor, and smarts that I would like to assume is, in part, a result of my decision to be a SAHM. My siblings and I turned out pretty well, even with both our parents working. I realized this was because the work environment back then was simple — there was no constant disruption of home family life because there were no mobile phones, internet, emails. When our parents fetched us from school, and we all arrived home, my parents were totally disconnected from their work world. I, on the other hand, worked in a time of burgeoning technological interconnectivity: mobile phones, SMS, emails, GPS, mobile Wi-Fi. Constant disruption. Had I decided to continue as a working mom, I would not know my children as intimately as I do. I would not have been able to spend every morning waking them up, bringing them to school, and coming back home to play with my toddler. I would not have been able to volunteer for extra parent roles in school. I would not have been the first person they talk to and share their day’s highs and lows when they get fetched from school. And I am privileged that in this lifetime where we only get one chance for every moment, I got to do it all.
The option of being a SAHM is only possible because my husband decided to setup a business that made TIME an affordable luxury. That while the opportunity cost of motherhood is high here in the Philippines, the opportunity cost of missing out on all the intangible MOTHERHOOD experiences is much higher, and if I may say so, PRICELESS. While there are days that I miss my personal bank account, I thank my husband for creating this unique opportunity that pays in a different currency: my children’s laughter, tears, hugs, and kisses.
Now that school hours are longer and I can have my life back for 6 hours a day, what’s next for me? Domestic Goddess pa din? Showbiz na ba? Slacker na lang? PhD?
#DomesticGoddessMNL